


your hands are mine to hold

by Ominous



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Smut, I wrote you your binches, Mentions of canon abuse, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Relationship Study, exy banquets, happy birthday rachelle!, some introspection, thea is a goddess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:09:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23632141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ominous/pseuds/Ominous
Summary: It has taken a long time for Thea to accept a lot of aspects of their past. Her eyes track the fear in Kevin's eyes, emboldened by how his own resolve wears it away year by year. She'll never take that sight for granted.It's hard to ignore the weights on both of them, with their lives so eaten up by the Exy world and memories of the Nest, but one thing has always remained consistent.Thea trusts Kevin Day with her everything, and she'll never hesitate to follow him into battle.
Relationships: Kevin Day/Thea Muldani
Comments: 23
Kudos: 86





	your hands are mine to hold

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EmeraldWaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldWaves/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHELLE!!! I know you love Kevin/Thea and there's hardly any content, so I originally just planned to give you some quick smut pffft But of course, I can't write anything short for this fandom so here's some weird introspection blend LOL
> 
> Okay but in all honestly thank you so much for being my friend, you're my favorite person ever and I hope you have an amazing day. I'm blessed to talk to you everyday and can't believe we've been friends this long! You're so sweet and hilarious and you just make life better tbh <3 you deserve all the good things!
> 
> Big thanks to [poetic_ivy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/poetic_ivy/works) for reading this through for me! Your edits were life saving!

_Kevin's hands are strong._

It's not the first time this has crossed Thea's mind.

It's not thought with an admiring or dreamy quality, not for her. She's simply stating a fact, like she’s tracing her manicured fingernail down his stats sheet. Hard, cold, irrefutable

Her boyfriend moves them with a steeliness that's so unlike him at times; they grip the bottle of champagne firmly, clench his glass a little too hard...

Why Thea focuses on them now, in this moment where she should be networking and letting people fawn over her _own_ achievements, is beyond her. But, perhaps it's for the best. This will always be Kevin's element.

He's smiling his dumb celebrity smile while he talks game strategy with some reporters. If Thea is being truthful, she's only apart from him because being able to schmooze has never been easy for her. It's one of the only things she could never conquer.

Her smiles are few and far between. It's not that she doesn't experience contentment or happiness, it's just not something her face muscles like to comply with. She doesn't have a light, bouncy voice, or the capacity to not argue with any bad opinion thrown her way. She can't laugh at jokes that aren't funny, nor can she offer flattery where none is due. Her voice is deep, her critique unfiltered, and her expressions--

 _'Resting bitch face_ ,' Kevin had called it.

In the moment, Thea had bristled from the statement; she did _not_ like having her flaws pointed out, same as Kevin. However, he had followed it up with _'all your emotions are in your eyes, they light up when you're happy.'_

Thea's not sure that's true, but Kevin doesn't say things for the sake of being romantic. They’re not that couple. If he said it, it's because he believes it in every way.

So, Thea takes his word for it.

Still, Kevin had suggested he handle press from then on. Thea didn't argue. It's not like she's wasting any kind of opportunity to gloat, since Kevin will name-drop her every chance he gets.

It's only partly because she's his girlfriend, and Thea's proud of that. Kevin knows she's a damn good player who deserves the attention.

So, she's at peace here, off in the corner while her fellow athletes get drunk and brag about their own teams. She's been cradling her first glass of wine for over thirty minutes, goosebumps rising on her arms from the AC in the ballroom.

Exy galas, banquets...such tedious things.

She glares into the room. The dress she's wearing is ridiculously impractical, not fitted for function, but necessary for a formal event like this. It clings to her body, hugging her curves all the way down to the floor. She couldn't run if she tried. The fabric is a deep black, blacker than the decor of the Nest, but the color choice offers zero comfort. There's a long rectangular window in the middle, the edges of her cleavage bumpy from the cold air. She suppresses a shiver. It also doesn't help that the back is non-existent, the dress held up by the strap around her neck. It leaves her smooth skin completely exposed to the elements; despite her height and stature, Thea runs cold. Kevin's always complaining she keeps their apartment too damn hot.

The dress was a sacrifice she had to make for this whole outing, so different from her usual athleisure. It had been worth it though, to see Kevin's face when she walked out of the bathroom. Maybe that's what got her so fixated on his hands, thinking of the ways he could use them later when they were free of this boredom.

At the thought, Thea returns to her observations, taking a small sip of wine. She tries not to drink so much now that Kevin has cut back. It's a small gesture, one they didn't even talk about, but Thea knows when her solidarity is needed.

She watches Kevin's fist hit his hand, his eyes excited to be talking about Jeremy Knox's last incredible goal. Thea tracks the movement. Right now, in his element, Kevin's hands are so unlike the trembling ones that wake Thea up in the middle of the night sometimes. These aren't the hands that hide or sweat with anxiety, that pull his hair during a nightmare.

However, when she says Kevin's hands are strong, she means they're strong all the time. Those moments are not exceptions nor points of weakness.

It took Thea a while to come to that conclusion, but it's her conclusion nonetheless. Like everything else about her, her decisions are tougher than three panes of plexiglass. Shattering the walls around her Raven-influenced views, the ones instilled in her for years, had been difficult. They had convinced her that tears and hesitation were wastes of time, and fear and recovery were signs of failure.

Yet, like Kevin, and perhaps without meaning too, the stony parts of the Raven regime had begun to wear away with time. They both still carry a lot of it, the valuable parts, but now the manual in their minds is missing the less ideal pages. The Moriyama bits.

Knowing this, Thea reinforces her opinions of Kevin with stronger stuff than even her Raven history. That past had been fragile, and how she feels about Kevin cannot be. The walls she puts around him are steel, coated in platinum and deadbolted. Loyal.

Good luck trying to convince her otherwise.

Therefore, it's not that Thea doesn't think Kevin deserves those moments of vulnerability, it's just that Kevin's hands are so much better suited for the harshness of an Exy court than...anything else. More than fear, more than anticipation. Thea has made it one of her life's objectives to get him and his hands back on the right path whenever she can.

Kevin's mind is a fragile thing at times; Thea will never baby him through things, but she'll always be there for whatever Kevin asks for. In the end, if she can get him back on their path, and thus the path of Exy, she can pull him out of the darkness.

Because, well, Kevin lives and breathes Exy, and she's never resented that, not for a moment. She is the same, and they have an understanding. She doesn't need Kevin to prove he loves her just as much, or find other things for them to talk about. She's...happy, like this. She doesn't need those hands to hold her up or keep her safe. It's more...she knows his hand will always firmly reside in hers and never waver. They improve, they fight back.

 _Now_ , she helps Kevin fight back.

Strong hands, skilled hands, the hands of the best Exy player to ever live. _That_ she knows without hesitation. Kevin will go down in Exy history. And for so long, Exy was something linked to success in her mind. Pushed by her own parents, her university, herself.

Would she call Kevin a success story? No. A success story implies that someone rose up from the dirt to make it to the top. Impressive yes, but not Kevin.

Kevin has always been the best. The success flowed from him, from the moment Thea met him. Before she knew anything about him.

Now that...that she _does_ say with admiration. A little.

The corner of her mouth lifts up for the first time that night at her own snark, and she wonders if Kevin senses it. He turns around, seeking her gaze out until he locks onto her. She will never refer to Kevin Day as soft, but there's a calmness that overcomes him when he looks at her, like she is a reset, the go-to button to press before things have a chance to get out of hand. She shoulders that responsibility gratefully.

Thea squints when their staring match is interrupted, and she slouches against the wall. Kevin would surely scold her, but he's too distracted by the next round of press. All people less important to him than her, she thinks petulantly. She'll never resent the sport, just the goons that come with it.

Thea watches the way Kevin's left hand twitches instinctively when someone comes up to shake it, and she wishes he wouldn't be so afraid. It's unbecoming of him.

Unbecoming, but not undeserved.

She knows about Kevin's past, and if she's being honest with herself, she's still coming to terms with it. But it happened. Someone... _Riko_ , Thea has to remind herself, tried to prove those hands were nothing more than glass. Kevin always catches himself last second, switching to his right hand. The handshake is no less firm, no less a statement. Her boyfriend is an anxious, paranoid being at times, but his presence has never communicated anything but _I'm here and you're going to have to deal with it._

Royalty, haughtiness, with an earned arrogance mixed in.

It's how it should be, but it's not something which can last.

At this point, she's glaring out at the sea of bodies in front of her, the chirping laughter and sloshing alcohol taking a toll on her patience, but more importantly...

She can see Kevin wearing thin, tired. He'd do this all night if he had to, because he's so committed, but even he isn't perfect at socializing for that long.

"What was your opinion of the last Trojans game?" A dolled up reporter asks Kevin sincerely, loud enough for Thea to hear over the chatter of the ballroom. That’s what’s great about her little hiding spot, she can hear every annoying voice in the room.

Exy galas and banquets are important, she knows, but deep down she dreads them.

She guesses her eyes are brightening though, since Kevin's intelligent response eases her woes, if only for a moment.

A very small moment.

"Ms. Muldani is it?" A voice from her side clouds Kevin's cool tone, and she's already irritated when she turns towards him. Thea's mind is steel; she knows this man. A rookie, from Nevada's new team. Wilson. His eyes are shining as he speaks to her, but the gaze is directed at Kevin completely. "Isn’t he great? You're so lucky to be with _the_ Kevin Day."

Case in point.

Kevin’s earned the praise surely, but Thea doesn’t need to be reminded. She knows, she’d be a fool to not know.

Thea rises up to her full height, delighted to find she has some inches on the man in front of her. Not that it would matter; she's seen his stats, not impressive. She tilts her chin up, like she would in the face of defeat, ready to square up again and again.

Honestly, with her record, she doesn't encounter the misogyny of the sport as much as other female players. But, it's still very much there, and she spits in the face of it.

"Kevin Day is lucky to be with _me_ ," her voice echoes in the room, and a few people look over. Whoops.

She knows, for once, Kevin won't mind the negative attention. It's one thing they both value in their relationship: equality. She will not be talked down to. The man has the brains to at least lean back in his sheepishness. Before Thea can pull what the community calls a 'Josten' on this piss poor excuse for a player, a hand comes up to cradle her lower back.

And oh, Thea is perhaps not as cold as she thought.

She falls back into it, her body's natural reaction, and tries not to get huffy about it. She's seen her boyfriend in all kinds of ridiculous and stressful scenarios, but when it comes down to it, Thea loves him for a reason. His presence soothes her beyond belief, beyond what she ever thought she'd allow from someone.

Kevin's gaze flicks over her face, catching on her lips for a moment. Thea suppresses a smirk. Kevin is so easy to read, so predictable...

He loves when Thea is unapologetic.

Then, because he is still _the_ Kevin Day, he gives the player a once over. Thea can track the exact course of her boyfriend's thoughts, the blank analysis, and the disappointed conclusion. She guesses Kevin remembers Wilson's stats too.

But instead of pointing that out, Kevin remains the star child of the sport.

"She's right," he says, as amicably as he can. He sounds the same to everyone but Thea; to her ears, she notes all the condescending undertones. His hand stays firm on her back, while his other gestures to her face. Like she's a prize. "Theodora Muldani. She's held a spot in the top ten players every year since she turned pro, an incredible challenge for _any_ backliner. In our last game against Miami, she only allowed two shots to make it anywhere close to the goal. That's an industry record, mind you. So yes, I'd say I'm very lucky."

Oh yes, Thea is going to reward Kevin well for that.

Without need for scowls, Kevin puts people in their place, but with an air of grace Thea cannot replicate for the life of her. Wilson scurries off with his tail between his legs after a muffled congratulations, and Thea chooses then to wrap her arm around Kevin. His hand follows the curve of her body, refusing to budge. She hears the snap of cameras, and lets it happen.

She spent a long time keeping their relationship secret, she sees no reason why she has to be ashamed any longer.

"I'm ready to leave," she whispers into Kevin's ear, and his hand comes up to grip her forearm.

Kevin nearly looks pouty when she pulls back, and ah, _great_. Here it comes—"Thea, did you talk to _anyone_? You know it's important to build good—"

"Don't start." She means it. She points her finger right at his face, just below the chess piece on his cheek. "I'm not Josten, I can handle myself fine, but unless you want a press disaster on your hands I'd rather you let me lurk."

At the reminder of Kevin's other biggest press problem, his shoulders relax. The sigh is music to Thea's ears; Kevin doesn't give up his whining easily, most days. Normally, that's fine with her. She likes her men to have a spine, but in this case...

She's grateful Kevin submits. His hands find her hips, squeezing.

"You are good at that," Kevin says, lips turning up ever so slightly. It's a genuine ghost of a smile. That's another thing they have in common, Kevin's really not much of a genuine smiler in his day-to-day life either. Yet, Thea thinks he's been doing it a lot more lately. "See anything interesting?"

Ha.

Thea pulls Kevin off to the side of the room, hidden slightly by fake plants and the hideous decor. Hiding someone as famous as Kevin is hard, but she only needs a moment. "Besides some petty flirting of married men and inflated tales of the court? No."

Kevin scoffs, seemingly agreeing. "Can you believe Jenkins? Trying to act like the Sharks' last game was anything but--"

"Absolutely pitiful?" Thea finishes, tapping her own mouth. "I can read your lips you know."

These events bore her, Kevin does not. She watched him all night.

At the vague admission, Kevin's eyes widen, appreciative. "So you _do_ pay attention."

Okay, now he's starting to get annoying.

"I have to pay attention to you, otherwise you'll get in trouble," Thea fires back, mussing up Kevin's perfect tie just because she can. The suit looks good on him, but she much prefers him in his jersey. "I can't let Minyard one-up me when it comes to being your bodyguard."

Kevin rolls his eyes, no doubt thinking of all the phone calls Andrew ignores from him. To think, at one point they were glued at the hip. Now, Andrew has a knack for knowing when Kevin is calling just to talk about life and Exy, or because he's done something to cause trouble and Kevin wants to lecture him. It tends to be the latter, so...

Getting ahold of the goalkeeper is a feat. Thea can't help but admire him, a bit. Resisting Kevin is almost impossible.

But, she doesn't want to talk about short blond goalkeepers, or even Exy for once.

She drags her nail along the vein in Kevin's neck, tapping until she feels his pulse _jump_.

"Uh...Thea," Kevin says, voice less calm, less collected. Kevin's real voice. His hands curl tighter around her despite the way his eyes shift around the room, looking for prying eyes or cameras.

Kevin had to share her enough back in the day. No longer.

Fire ignites under Thea's skin, like the rush of adrenaline before a game or a brutal body check. Her hand deliberately finds Kevin's left hand, and he flinches. Thea hesitates before she squeezes, the softest gesture she can manage. _I am not a threat_ , she thinks, and hopes Kevin knows it.

After a second, Kevin's eyes bore into hers, and he squeezes back.

"Kevin Day," Thea says, slow and patient. His fingers intertwine with hers, and she watches his throat bob.

"Y-yes?" He manages, clearing his throat right after. And yes, Kevin embodies all the success and certainty Thea craves. However, when the cameras are gone, she does not hate this side of him either.

The side of him which comes apart for her.

"Take me upstairs."

It's a command, and one that Kevin happily obeys.

\--

On the elevator ride up, they're alone.

Funny, how they're always the first to leave a party. The Exy world is full of people who will soak up fame and attention for as long as they can, but the one person who is due the most is seldom around. She wonders if Kevin means to be that fashionable, but then realizes how ridiculous the thought is.

She watches Kevin for all his excited ticks, the way he tracks the floors as they climb, the rocking back, but more than anything...

She notices the twitch of his hands, how he keeps his left one cradled close to his abdomen. Protected. Thea doubts Kevin actually feels in danger, not with her, but it's a habit.

Thea wants him, she wants him so bad and yet…

It’s in the most unideal moments that her brain latches onto inappropriate things. She shouldn’t care so much she thinks, shouldn’t care about how Kevin developed some of his habits in the first place.

But she does.

Thea forces herself to say it, because she knows she has to: Riko did this.

Before, she could never hold him completely accountable. She and Kevin both make excuses for him, even now.

But Thea will not be defeated in this respect. Riko was a strong force, in many ways, impressive. But he hurt Kevin, abused him.

When push comes to shove, the distinction puts Thea over the edge. She cannot excuse it.

So, she makes the promise that's been on the tip of her tongue all night.

"Your hand will not break again," she says, loud and unyielding in the small space. Kevin visibly blanches, head whipping over to her. Thea turns to meet him, gaze hard. "I won't allow it."

_For the rest of time, I will be there._

She was not, when it happened. She's not weak enough to weep over it. She had no control, no way of knowing. She feels no guilt over not being there to protect him. She feels explosive, blinding rage over the fact it happened at all, that Riko would dare touch something Thea values so highly. Loves, even.

Dwelling does nothing for either of them, so Thea won't. She will just be ready in the future.

The elevator dings, opening to their floor. It takes a few seconds, enough for the doors to nearly close on them again, but Kevin reaches for her.

His left hand curls, sure and steady around her wrist, and pulls her out. The corridor in front of them stretches on, silent and dim. She's sure the other rooms are empty, this moment is all theirs.

Eventually, Kevin nods, searching her eyes for something...a lie maybe. Thea does not lie to Kevin, and never will.

"Neither will I," Kevin sighs, putting her wrist in a death grip as if to prove it. She takes the little bit of pain gratefully. Kevin's strength, with nothing held back. "No one will see me that way again. I'm going to stay the deadliest piece on the board."

_Deadlier, greater, than he was._

In a moment of rare vulnerability, Thea looks down at Kevin's arm, tracing the veins there.

"Kevin," she says, because she can never say his name quite enough. "Do you hate him?"

Kevin's expression clouds.

Thea doesn't regret much, but she does wonder why she's bringing it up now. She wants Kevin in her arms, inside her, pressed close. The last thing either of them want to think about is Riko. Thea has never respected a mood though, if she has a question she will ask it.

For so long, Kevin has avoided talking to even her about this. And well, who would understand better than her?

Maybe, her mind poses, he doesn't trust her to react in the way he needs. The realization makes Thea shiver, a shard of ice piercing her. She hates the thought, wants to prove it wrong.

She will not treat Kevin like he is fragile either, but this is something they avoid for a reason. It has the potential of sending Kevin back to places Thea cannot follow. She brings her other hand to lace through his, grounding him in the present with her.

 _Don't lose to this_ , she commands.

And Kevin doesn't. His eyes are clear.

"No," he whispers, and then he's breathing in. The frustration mars his features, the wrinkles already forming on his young face from so much strife. It's like Kevin cannot believe it himself, but Thea does. Deep down, Thea knew the answer, because it's the same problem she has with all this. "I'm trying to, but I don't think I ever will truly. I know I should, but he was...always there. Sometimes I think if I turn around, he'll still be there."

As if to check, their eyes slide down the hall. Empty.

She understands. Riko was a constant shadow to their lives, their coupling, the courting...

It was to the point where Thea was sure she'd have to share a wedding with Riko and whoever he managed to marry, but now...

Now everything about Kevin is Thea's, to have for herself, alone. She never realized how grateful she was for that, too overcome with Riko's untimely death. But this...is nice. She has never wanted to share, and now she doesn't have to.

And more than that, Kevin doesn't have to share anything either. Ever again.

The thought probably makes him feel guilty to this day, when it shouldn't.

"What about you?" Kevin's voice breaks Thea's train of thought, and she looks back up at her boyfriend, watching the way anxiety flickers through his eyes. She is a rock in his life, her opinion means a lot to him. It always did, even when she graduated and moved on, she was his advisor on all things Riko could not hope to understand.

It’s an opinion that harmed him, when she didn’t take his injury as seriously as she should’ve.

"Do you hate him?" He asks, quietly, but bravely. His eyes still follow the curve of her face, her lips. Perhaps they’re both a little more messed up than they thought, to _want_ so brazenly like this.

It's a question Thea has been juggling since it happened. Does she? Can she?

She glares at the space behind Kevin's head, as if the ghost of the bastard might materialize before her. Even thinking of Riko that way makes her think he will come out of nowhere just to punish her.

But he would, _could_ not, even if he were alive. And, Thea lingers on that thought before she answers.

Because well, if Riko were alive...he would not be for long.

"I want to," she says then, hands curling tight over Kevin's. She says it with conviction, so Kevin cannot doubt a word of it. "I'm working on it, and I'm confident I will get there."

She says it in a way they are both used to, like a long term goal. This many shots blocked, this many goals scored. A peak which they will eventually surpass.

_For you, I'll hate him enough for the both of us._

Kevin could never back down from a challenge.

His answering grin is more than she's used to seeing, but she takes all of it. It's deadly, like an impossible goal or interception. Kevin brings their hands, still intertwined, to cover it up. Thea shakes her head, and yes, her eyes must be bright.

She scoffs before pulling their hands away; she wants to see this moment, the moment she and Kevin decide to work towards the same thing together.

Kevin clears his throat, smothering his smile as best he can before he speaks. It sends a shiver down Thea's spine. "I will too."

And then, Thea is smiling just as large, just as predatory. She hadn't realized it before, but she'd been waiting for this moment, this crossroads she never could've expected. And now that she's here..."Let's not stop until we can spit on his grave."

Kevin's face heats up, either in shame or admiration. He likes the sound of it, and Thea is proud of that. She wouldn't have gotten that reaction a year ago.

With a chuckle, Kevin taps the necklace around Thea's neck, her Raven memorabilia. She had tried to take it off once, to help Kevin with his nightmares, but he had insisted otherwise.

_'You were one of the best things about being a Raven, I don't want to forget that.'_

So, she wears it, and never takes it off.

"Theodora Muldani, I don't know what to do with you," Kevin sighs, finger wrapping around one of the curls in her hair.

He admires her Raven number, shining around her neck, and there's no haunted quality in his eyes. Only fondness. This part of their past, they will keep.

At his words, Thea smirks. The heat from before hasn't subsided, in fact, it's twice as strong. Kevin’s gaze around her neck follows down to the cut in her dress, remembering all the things he finds strangely alluring about her.

This desire is not something the past can get rid of, and she builds it up until it’s an inferno.

She pulls at his tie fiercely this time, enough to unravel it completely, and pops the first few buttons on his dress shirt.

This time when he surges forward, it's with pure confidence, the kind so linked to Kevin's spirit it makes her _yearn_. His hands tighten on her waist, waiting for the starting gun in Thea's hand to go off.

"I can think of a few things," she whispers, and before she knows it, she's being pulled down the hallway.

\--

Because of the difference in their levels of experience over the years, Kevin was not always so skilled at pleasing Thea.

It had taken a while; when they were in school, Kevin was inexperienced, unsure of himself. So _very_ unlike how he is now. Even still, Kevin is never one to back down from a challenge, especially not when Thea is involved. She brings out the best parts of his competitive nature. At first, she thought it was hatred. The constant bickering at practice, the way they made everything into a race. She'd never been interested in romance, only small flings. She had no idea that was how she flirted, how _they_ flirted. But Kevin set her on fire, and after a while all their dumb challenges towards each other became less about winning and more...fun.

Fun. It's not something Thea had been too familiar with prior. Winning was fun, and that was it. Kevin, with all his whiny ridiculousness, makes _life_ fun.

And the sex is _incredibly_ fun.

Kevin always gave his all when trying to satisfy her, back in the day. Thea had been patient with him in the bedroom, but brutally honest, especially when they actually had the luxury of being alone.

It paid off.

Basically, Kevin has gotten very good at eating Thea out.

"Oh _yeah_ , right there," Thea moans, using her heels to push Kevin forward against her. Deeper. Her inner thighs are a mess, wet with her own slick and rubbing against Kevin's cheeks. He's only in his trousers at this point, surprising neither of them. They're such reserved individuals, but their fucking is intense, impatient. There had been no time to waste dealing with clothes, Thea had _wanted_ , craved.

Her dress is ruined, stretched out horribly from how hastily she tried to get out of it. She pushed the fabric at the sides away so Kevin could squeeze her chest, her tits fitting perfectly in his large hands. They're still on her, rolling her nipples between his fingertips while his mouth makes a mess of her. His tongue licks long, hard stripes over her clit, sometimes sucking it into his mouth like he enjoys the taste. Thea loves it, loves knowing Kevin can't get enough of her.

Thea’s nearly a wreck herself from seeing the state of Kevin’s face, eyes wild and cheeks glistening. He sounds the opposite of displeased by the mess, and this is one of the only times he lets any decorum bleed away. He moans against her, the vibrations rocking her to her core. She tightens her thighs around his head, and his hands dig harder into her hips. She wants it all, all their strength. " _Mhm_ , yes, oh sh—"

She presses her mouth into a thin line when his tongue thrusts inside her, mimicking the feeling of his cock as best he can. Fast, unforgiving. Some tears bead at the corners of her eyes, like they always do when she's close to the edge. Trying to restrain herself doesn't help, but—

"You don't have to be quiet," Kevin gasps, pulling away from her. Thea's head jerks up, about to complain, but there's a gleam in Kevin's eyes that catches her off guard. He licks his glistening lips, as if still savoring her. That, coupled with his athletic physique...it's distracting in the most annoying way. "It's just us."

And then, he goes and says ridiculous things like that.

Thea's eyes widen, and no...she doesn't let herself go back there, all those years ago, where prying eyes watched her. Watched _them_. She knows what Kevin means, she's known for a while. They've done this so many times since then, but...

It never gets easier to accept. They're alone, free.

Thea sighs, and allows her eyes to soften when she reaches forward, tugging on Kevin's bangs. She grimaces at how sticky they are, damn hair gel. Another reason to hate these banquets.

"Not worried about your fellow athletes listening?" Thea asks, settling back onto the pillows.

She hears the humor in Kevin's voice without having to look at him. "Pretty sure they're all tanked even if they are next door. Besides, I'm proud of my performance."

Thea glares at the ceiling.

"I prefer you _silent_ Kevin Day," Thea says, pushing Kevin forward with the back of her foot. She shudders when she feels his hot breath against her, her hips twitching with the need for more. What a sight she must be, clenching around nothing.

Kevin gets back to his task eagerly, pushing his tongue inside her until the heat builds to an almost excruciating degree. She's moaning unabashedly now, okay with satisfying Kevin in her own ways. If he likes her loud, she'll be loud.

Her hips push back on his tongue erratically, vision blurring as her orgasm hits her. Kevin takes all of it, moans from the way Thea tightens around his tongue. His muscled forearm throws her leg over his shoulder, and he rubs her clit with his thumb while Thea's body jerks.

He milks her for all she's worth.

"Yes, _yes_ , _oh_ \--" Thea throws her head back, body quivering while Kevin doesn't slow down any of his ministrations. He loves this, she realizes. Kevin wants nothing more than to make her fully satisfied before taking his own pleasure.

She'll admit, she never expected someone as famous as him to be that selfless in the beginning, but now she comes to expect it. Not only that, but she returns it in full.

She yanks Kevin's head up to kiss him, and sighs from her own taste on his tongue. Their kissing is still fierce, competitive. She pins his down and makes him come undone from a kiss alone. He receives her with everything he has, nipping her swollen lips while his hands cradle her face. It's breathtaking, the only thing that even comes close to scoring a winning goal.

His hands leave her skin, but she doesn't have time to feel disappointed. There's a distinct sound of his belt hitting the floor, and his fly coming undone. Thea breaks the kiss to practically tear his pants away, nearly tripping Kevin from how slowly he steps out of them. Wherever they end up in the room after she throws them, she doesn't care.

Kevin wipes his mouth with the back of his hand when he finally looks at her, all of her. His eyes are black, a darkness so much better than the walls of the Nest. She'd burn down those walls to have this, and the thought startles her. There's not much she wouldn't do for Kevin, at this point. "You only say my full name when you're mad or enamored," Kevin comments, not obeying her demand for his silence. She knew he wouldn't.

"Take a guess which one it is right now," Thea says petulantly, but even then she's spreading her legs and inching forward on the bed. They’re a team, the best of partners. They move in sync, and he fits between her legs like it's where he belongs. He grabs the condom lying on the bed, wasting no time in rolling it on.

Thea wriggles at the sight of his cock, red and swollen in front of her. Any other time, she'd return the favor, give him his own orgasm before the main event. But right now...she wants to feel _full_.

In the split second before he's pushing into her, their eyes lock, and it's like a cinder dropped into a bucket of gasoline. Thea's toes curl just from that look, and she couldn't explain it if she wanted to.

Kevin lines up, and he's not smiling, but his eyes crinkle at the sides. Bright...there might be something to those words after all. "I don't have to," he whispers, and then he's sliding into her, the pressure unbelievably incredible.

Thea throws her head back, and Kevin knows her well, because he doesn't hesitate to thrust into her. She likes it fast, rough. She's never wanted the gentle treatment, and Kevin likes that she doesn't. He knows she won't break.

His hips piston, eyes trained on her, and she can't keep her own open. They flutter shut as Kevin's cock pounds her deep, adjusting the angle until she's moaning with each thrust. The noises are obscene, the squelch deafening in the small room. Thea wants to watch him disappear in and out of her, but her vision won't allow it. She gives in, her head hitting the pillow and baring her throat for Kevin to suck. He licks at the sweat , savoring the saltiness.

She's getting louder; anyone walking by could hear them. So uncouth, so unlike their public appearances. She doesn't fucking care.

Kevin's grunting like he can't get enough of her, hand pressing firmly where her back starts to arch, pushing her up. She follows his every movement, tilting her hips in a silent demand to switch up the angle. He's so good at following her directions.

They're not trying to make it last; Kevin's movements are frantic, like he's a college student again, chasing his release and trying so hard to give her one of her own. It's desperate in a way that almost makes Thea fond, but this time, Kevin's pace is backed up entirely by skill.

Thea chokes on a moan, it's that _good_.

Kevin winces, pinning her hips down into the mattress as he gives a few harsh jolts forward. A low-pitched scream leaves Thea's throat, and Kevin swallows it up with a kiss that's all tongue.

It doesn't last long. Kevin breaks away and his own eyes start to roll back, his cheek resting against hers. His pants are hot, searing almost, and she wonders if she's blushing from it. "Thea... _fuck_ Thea, I'm--"

She licks his earlobe, long and slow, and demands once more. "That's right, fall apart for me."

_Make me come all over your cock._

Her legs lock around his waist when he comes; Kevin's orgasms are always like that, trembling and full body. He comes undone in her arms, but doesn't forget about her. His hand replaces her own to rub at her clit, and it doesn't take much more. She's been teetering at the edge, and the guttural sound of her name on Kevin's lips pushes her over.

She comes hard, jerking against him, and his hands cup her ass while they tremble through it. It's not their usual workout, but Thea is sweating like it. Her body feels relaxed, ruined, in the best way. She doesn't feel the need to cover herself up, her limbs stretching out on the bed as she comes down from the high. Kevin is surprisingly clingy after sex, he wraps his arms tightly around her, and lets her hold all his weight.

She always can.

And when Thea looks to the corners of the room, they're alone. Blissfully, undeniably alone.

She wipes her face with Kevin's tie, the only item of clothing not ruined. She grimaces, grateful this dress isn't a rental. There's a new, giant slit in the side of it now.

"Wow," Kevin breathes, so predictable, and Thea rolls her eyes. She's pretty sure he says something like that every time, but she never tells him to stop. She is very _wow_ , she'll admit.

"Mhm," she sighs, and Kevin lifts his chin to meet her in a kiss. It's much slower, sweeter. It's so unlike her, it scares her at times. But, it's quick to fade away. There's nothing to be afraid of where _the_ Kevin Day is concerned.

She laughs at her own joke then, another rare sound. Rare enough that Kevin doesn't even question it, just laughs along with her.

She doesn't think it ever felt like this, when they did it at the Nest. She can't remember this feeling of calm, can't remember laughing. They were always in a rush to get back to their rooms, to hide, to make it so no one would suspect...

She had accepted it as her way of life back then. Because she was a Raven, and that's just how Ravens were supposed to be.

At the thought, she squints up at the ceiling, a weight lifting from her shoulders. It's not a pleasant, or smooth thing. The yoke around her had been rusted, stuck to her skin. It feels almost like peeling away a layer of herself, but it's necessary.

Welcome.

Kevin catches her discomfort, an unusual brand of worry taking over his face. Thea doesn't like it, so she remedies it quickly.

"I'm glad we're here, and not there," she whispers into the darkness, the city lights wrapping them in a spectrum of golds and blues.

Kevin's body tenses, but she doesn't flinch away. Her gaze is unwavering in the face of his own; she watches the way a thousand emotions wash over him. Anger, sadness, confusion. But she's there to be an anchor, and he finds his way back to her.

He relaxes into her, taking in her expression, how she means it. Every word, every attempt at overwriting the past.

From how Kevin smiles a moment later, barely there but just as strong as everything else about him, Thea knows he understands exactly what she means.

"Me too."

Thea pulls him in, rubbing the back of his neck as if there's scars on him, evidence of his own weight ripped off.

And, just like that, Thea thinks they take another step forward, hand in hand.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> EVERYONE GO CHECK OUT RACHELLE'S FICS BC SHE'S AMAZING <3 
> 
> [Here's the art I had done for this fic!](https://llstarcasterll.tumblr.com/post/615306492442279936) Please go check it out <3


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